Wind turbines as cigarettes?

(April 1- New York) In a move sure to unsettle some residents, the Town of Marlboor, New York has approved a wind farm project with turbines made to look like cigarettes.

“These are not real cigarettes. These are electronic cigarettes,” said Town Supervisor Joe Kahmle. “We are not advocating pollution of any kind.”

In a bid to raise money for town coffers, the town agreed to allow the turbines to be painted to resemble electronic cigarettes made by the NoSmokeSmokes Corp.

Company representative Simone Barsinister indicated that she saw the project as a win-win-win-win. “Look,” she said, “We paid the town a lump sum; people will stop bringing into their lungs smoke from cigarettes and smokestacks; and if folks are smart about this, they will recharge their smokeless smokes at night when the turbines are spinning fast. I’m surprised more towns aren’t jumping at the opportunity.”

Representatives of NYISO were unavailable for comment as to what impact on the grid the mass plugging in of electronic cigarettes may have. NoSmokeSmokes estimates that for every 10MW of power generated, the ingestion of 10M mg of tar will be avoided.

Photo simulation of the “Cigarette Turbine” project submitted as part of the town’s environmental due diligence:

wind turbine as electronic cigarette

wind turbine as electronic cigarette

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